Starting Again

I love being a Special Events Coordinator!  It's my passion & what I feel I'm really called to do.  It's something I excel at.  Last year I was afforded the opportunity to do that full-time & the icing on the cake was doing it in the non-profit world.  My dream job!

That ended last Friday when I was "let go".  I was confused, crushed, heartbroken & felt like a total failure.  Through wonderful friends (you know who you are) & my husband I realize I'm not a total failure & while I may never really understand why this happened, I have the tools to pick myself up & start again.  Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  That scripture was very hard to remember over the weekend as I cried & cried, ate pizza & ice cream & did not want to do anything productive, let alone work out.  I felt like God had given me a dream then snatched it away.  Remembering one of my favorite scriptures has helped a lot.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

Over the weekend, my husband asked me if I thought it was ironic that I started a blog about growing spiritually then I lose my job.  I really thought about that & I figure that God knows what I need & always has my best interest at heart.  I don't know what this all means yet (in fact, I may never know), but I do know God is in control & that has to be enough.

So, Monday morning I put my big girl pants on.  I spent quality time with God in prayer & reading the word.  I worked out & began the plan for Starting Again.

The Outside Reflects the Inside

I believe that our bodies reflect what is going on on the inside.  Those that know me know that I have no "Poker Face", meaning whatever I am thinking is clearly displayed on my face.  Be it joy, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, hope...  You get the picture!  I can very rarely "fake it", so it's important for me to keep my frustration, annoyance, etc in check!  By not doing that, I have hurt a lot of people's feelings!

The rest of our bodies can also display what's going on in our hearts.  Do we lack discipline to eat a healthy diet?  Do we lack self-control to eat enough and not stuff ourselves?  Are we too lazy to work out?  Do we lack gratitude and, therefore do not take care of our health?  Unfortunately, these have been a resounding "YES" for me.  This has resulted in me gaining about 40 pounds.  I am only 5' tall, so that is a lot of extra weight to be dragging around. 

I have started another "Biggest Loser" competition at work, my husband & I turned our guest bedroom into a gym and have been working out & eating healthier.  I also keep track of every bite that goes into my mouth and make sure that I have a calorie deficit at the end of each day.  I have lost about 6 pounds so far.  I want to be at my goal weight (125-I'll just put it out there) by July, 2012.

A twin study showing the difference between a smoker & nonsmoker

But...I have done very little about the inside.  "As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man."  Proverbs 27:19.  I need to work on my heart.  So begins the journey...